So right from the beginning this match was giving danger signs because you could already feel Chelsea doing that thing where they pass the ball around like they’re calm but they’re actually confused and then you blink and Bayern are already cooking something and that’s exactly what happened because all of a sudden Olise just takes over that right wing like it belongs to him and crosses something low and nasty and poor Chalobah just watches the ball hit his foot and fly past his own keeper like a man helping the other team score and it’s 1–0 Bayern before people even settle into the game properly.
And you know what happens after a goal like that yeah momentum shifts and Bayern smelled blood and Chelsea looked like they were still stuck on the previous play and not even five minutes later Harry Kane starts doing Kane things and Caicedo decides now is the perfect time to lose control of his limbs and bundles him down in the box and at first the ref says no penalty and you think okay lucky escape but nope they check it again and then boom penalty given and Kane buries it like it’s a formality and now it’s 2–0 and Chelsea are just standing there blinking.
But then out of nowhere Chelsea wake up and I’m not even kidding it was like someone pressed a cheat code because Palmer decides to cook and you just see him do a quick one-two with Gusto and then he bends it top corner like he’s in training and now it’s 2–1 and you start thinking okay maybe we have a game here maybe Chelsea are not completely unserious today.
Except yeah no that didn’t last very long because Bayern just stayed locked in and even though Chelsea were trying to string passes together Bayern were pressing them like their lives depended on it and Olise was everywhere again creating nonsense and Kane was lurking like a shadow behind every defender and you could just feel it in the air like the third goal was loading.
And it did come and it came the worst way possible because Gusto decided to forget who he plays for and just passes the ball gently to Harry Kane who was literally standing there waiting and Kane just controls it and slots it home like he was doing a tutorial video and now it’s 3–1 and Chelsea fans are just sinking into their chairs quietly.
There was that one Palmer free kick that went close and a disallowed goal later on that made Chelsea fans stand up again for like five seconds before VAR did its thing and waved it off and you could see Palmer’s face like bro seriously I’m doing all the work here and still nothing and honestly you have to feel for him because he looked like the only one trying to fight the system.
And Olise almost scored another one that would’ve been a madness like he curled it from the edge and everyone thought it was in and it just missed and even Tuchel looked like he wanted to clap for that because it was that good but Bayern were just in control from start to finish.
Chelsea tried but honestly they looked like a team that could only play in bursts like five-minute energy sessions followed by ten minutes of confusion and you can’t survive like that against a team like Bayern especially not when Kane is out there just being efficient and Olise is out there being disrespectful.
So yeah 3–1 and it honestly could’ve been worse and Chelsea are probably going back to London thinking about how they need defenders who don’t pass to the other team and midfielders who don’t trip over elite strikers inside the box and attackers who actually help Palmer out sometimes because one-man army football isn’t going to cut it.
